The Direction of Desire
When my phone alarm chimed at noon, I turned it off and went back to typing the document I was working on. But my thoughts strayed. Why did that alarm often make such an inconvenient interruption in my day? When I’m checking out at the grocery store. On a phone call. In the middle of writing about spiritual practices.
Then I stopped. Oh right, this was the alarm I set one day a week to remind me to pray at specific times throughout the day.
By experiencing the reminder as an interruption, I was confronting the reality of pursuing spiritual practices in everyday life. What I’ve learned about the process of spiritual formation is that it truly is not about a checklist of should’s and have-to’s; it is about desire. Through the spiritual practices, we develop our desire for desiring Jesus above all else. Otherwise, no matter how many reminders we build into our schedule, they will only be interruptions in the life we are really living.
We are people of layered desires. I’ve found that I need to want to pursue that deeper desire for Jesus so that I choose the things that move me toward him. This is the Spirit-led process of spiritual formation. When my prayer alarm chimes at noon, what’s my attitude about it? How much do I want to be reminded of God’s presence in the middle of my busy day? After the alarm has chimed at noon on the same day for several weeks, have my attitude and awareness changed? With practice, I want to remember and respond to God’s presence throughout my days as more of a desired joy and less of an interruption.
For several months at a time, I commit to pursue specific spiritual practices intentionally and regularly. Not that I haven’t pursued these practices generally in my walk with Jesus over years, but I have seen the difference a focused intention can make. After a few months of practice, I do a “gentle noticing” as author Ruth Haley Barton describes it. Reflecting on my attitudes and actions about the practices reveals where I’m growing, as well as areas where I need to grow but am perhaps avoiding or trying to hide from God.
What I’m describing from my own experience is what followers of Jesus throughout history have known as a rule of life. The origins of the word “rule” here relate to the use of a rod or straight piece of wood to which something can be attached to keep it straight. Like a trellis in a vineyard or garden. The trellis support keeps the grapevines or climbing flowers growing in the intended shape and direction.
With a rule of life, we provide a trellis for re-ordering our lives around spiritual practices that make us available to the Spirit-led process of spiritual formation. Through this process we are formed to be more like Jesus and trained in the direction of wanting a deeper desire for him above all else. The rule of life and the practices are not ends in themselves but means of grace for developing a whole-life orientation around Jesus and his purposes in the world.
When you set up a personal rule of life for a certain time period, you are invited to realistically acknowledge your season of life, rhythms of work and family life, and personality traits. You may commit to practices that you want to do daily (scripture reading and prayer, for example), weekly (worship service and Sabbath rest), and perhaps monthly or quarterly (such as a day for a retreat of silence and solitude).
You will consider a balance of practices that come easily to you and some that stretch you. For instance, if you tend to read the bible primarily for study and information, you might commit to more frequent meditation on scripture. In prayer, if you tend to bring a to-do list to God, you could commit to more times of praise and thanksgiving.
At Trinity, several of our core practices can be included in a communal as well as a personal rule of life. We will have opportunities to practice kindness, simplicity, community, and hospitality in forming our life together as the body of Christ. We hope you will consider prayerfully how God is leading you to engage in personal and communal spiritual formation to shape the direction of your desires as we enter this season of formation at Trinity.
