“On December 6th, 2021, we were heartbroken to find out our sweet surprise baby girl had just died a day or two prior at 17 weeks without any warning. We had just seen her the week before growing right on track, perfectly healthy, wiggling around and felt her first kicks just that week. The days and weeks following that ultrasound, trying to explain to big sister and brother that their much anticipated baby sister had died, waiting for our induction appointment, and trying to process doing life without our daughter and little sister were incredibly painful as well as confusing. On December 15, our sweet Solvi (soul-vee) Grace was born peacefully in the hospital surrounded by so much love, 6.2 inches and 4 ounces of perfection. We were able to hold and love on our perfect baby girl for two precious hours, counting all her little fingers and toes, kissing her sweet face, and just staring at the gift God had given us, even if only for a short time on Earth. 

God has been teaching us so much about who he really is and what our purpose is in life through the suffering we have experienced this past year, and we can say this confidently: never before has Jesus felt so near, have we understood our purpose so clearly, or have we been so grateful to be a part of a community who prays for and loves us so well. 

Although, in the past, we have understood what the Bible says about suffering and that “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28), until actually going though a season of intense suffering, it is easy to forget that “for good” doesn’t mean for our comfort or even eventual happiness in this life, but for our becoming more like Jesus, thereby bringing him more glory, because there is nothing greater for our good. 

In suffering, God has been so faithful and gracious to give us so many tangible reminders of his nearness and love for us, through his word, through our community, through our living children, and through bringing to mind Bible verses, hymns and worship music, and catechism that have soothed our souls. This past year, the loss of Solvi, the loss of a friend to suicide, and another miscarriage have given us many opportunities to be intentional about talking with our living children about death, heaven, and our hope found only in Jesus. 

Clinging to Jesus, and who he is, his gentleness, his weeping with those who weep, his sovereignty, and his goodness have been our hope and solace. We find peace in the hope of future communion with God in heaven and our reunification with our Solvi and others we miss dearly enabled by Christ’s love for us by what he has done, is doing, and will perfect upon the day of his return. We thank God for each member of our community who have loved us, shared in our suffering, and who have shared theirs with us. God (as always) knew what he was doing when he created us for community.
The hymn “Be Still My Soul” has been a constant in our home through this season and has and continues to act as salve and prayer in the waves of grief that come and in the current unknowns of life, so we want to share these beautiful words with you:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side;
bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to thy God to order and provide;
in ev'ry change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav'nly Friend, 
thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
to guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know 
His voice, who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart, 
and all is darkened in the veil of tears, 
then shalt thou better know His love, His heart, 
who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
from His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hast'ning on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, 
sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past, 
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.