The Story Project
The Lee Family Story.
“Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let your steadfastness have it’s full effect that you may be perfect and complete lacking nothing.” – James 1:2-3
Thirteen years together, ten years married, two states, seven different homes, one dog, six job changes…We’ve navigated through busy seasons since we met. As a RN and an engineer, we kicked off our marital journey in Idaho, away from family and friends. Little did we know, this distance would turn out to be the best seasoning for our marriage stew. We worked hard, argued about money, raised a mischievous pup that loved to leap out of car windows to chase squirrels, learned the art of snow shoveling, and, bought our first home. Life was great. It was easy to “count it all joy”. So let the good times roll, we thought, and decided to rock the boat by adding a new baby to our family.
Getting pregnant was not the hard part. As we joyfully shared the news of Alex’s pregnancy with family and friends, we painted a vivid picture of the life our family would create. Our eyes were fixed on the excitement of becoming new parents. We headed to the ultrasound for a routine checkup, eager to hear the sweet heartbeat of our baby again, only to be blindsided by the news that our baby had none.
The devastation was unbearable. We couldn’t fathom how God could allow something tough to happen to us, as if we were exempt from experiencing a miscarriage. Alex’s body clung to the baby, and surgery became necessary. It takes time to pick yourself back up and say, “Let’s try it again.” After months of grieving and repeating the “why” question in our heads, we knew that God held our precious baby in His hands, and we had to trust in His plan.
We pressed on in faith and got pregnant a second time. We prayed over our baby and let our hearts embrace the wonder. Unfortunately, we faced another loss. This time, Alex required two surgeries for emergent bleeding issues, and an overnight stay in the hospital. Another baby in Heaven.
We found ourselves in a state of emotional numbness, grappling with the pain. The impact struck deeply during the subsequent Father’s Day Sunday, as we sat in the church pews, unable to muster any emotion as the pastor asked all fathers to stand and be acknowledged for their blessings. In those moments of despair, embracing the verse in James about finding joy in trials became a hard pill to swallow.
We persevered and continued in faith trusting that God will bless us with a child. We were pregnant for a third time. We had flown to Hawaii to visit Ikaika’s dad for vacation, and again, we lost the baby.
Going through three miscarriages hit us hard—no reason, just a bunch of anger. We thought we were doing everything right, but why God wouldn't let us hold our babies puzzled us big time. Then it hit us: those little ones were never really ours; they were always His. God’s promise to work all things for good became our anchor.
We decided to let go and let God. No planning, no control. As we embarked on the adoption process, a surprising twist unfolded – we discovered we were pregnant for the fourth time. The looming fear of yet another loss cast a shadow over each day of the pregnancy. It felt almost surreal, too good to be true, but our belief in God's sovereignty remained unshaken. On 09/01/2018, Harper Grace Nohealani Lee became our cherished rainbow baby. Two and a half years later, on 07/10/2021, Zoe Belle Kehaulani Lee completed our joyful journey.
In contemplating the idea of finding "true joy" amidst our trials, it seemed an insurmountable challenge. Tears were our daily companions, yet in the midst of our struggles, God tenderly caught every sad tear. Those arduous years, marked by heartache, became a divine canvas upon which God painted breathtaking beauty.
Our faith, fortified through these trials, became a testament to God's goodness that we now share with others. The living proof of His love stands before us in the form of our precious daughters, Harper and Zoe.
Romans 8:28, a comforting assurance, reveals that God orchestrates all things for good for those who love Him and follow His purpose. Through His grace, our faith remained steadfast, and we persevered, surrendering control and letting God illuminate our journey. Today, as we bask in the beauty born from pain, surrounded by love, we are reminded of God's surpassing plans—a reminder that drawing close to Him ensures He draws close to us. There were countless opportunities to surrender and accept defeat, yet, as Paul declared in Romans, we emerged not as defeated, but as more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
